I am beginning to think that the baby might make an appearance soon. My prediction is for today or tomorrow. I have been having bad cramps and lower back pain since yesterday afternoon. We'll see what happens.

I am now down to a single digit - 9 days until Gabrielle is due. Nine days. Can you believe it? I can. This has been the longest nine months of my life. At least it seems that way.

I really need some motivation today. I have been in my pajamas all weekend. Yes, I've showered, but I put pj's back on and just lay around. The house is beginning to look like rubbish and my mother is coming back from Florida tomorrow night because she wants to be here when I go into labor (like that's ever going to happen). I'm fighting the urge to wait until tomorrow to get moving, but it's so easy to just sit around on my lazy butt. Once I get moving everything will be fine, but taking that first step seems so difficult.

I usually like daylight savings time at the end of the year because you gain an hour. It gives you an extra hour of sleep that night. Well, since I don't sleep anymore, I have just gained an hour of nothing to do, all by myself, while everyone else is sound asleep. Nice.

You know, normally I try to keep the swearing down to a minimum here (at least over the last year), but I'm really having a shitty night so excuse my language for a moment.

First of all, I feel like I'm PMSing really bad. I don't know what has come over me, but I can't shake it. I don't know if it's because I'm frustrated that I'm still pregnant and nothing is happening or what. I know the baby isn't due for another 11 days, but damn.. is she going to wait until the last minute? I'm driving myself crazy - not to mention my poor husband. I realize that hormones get the best of you now and then when you're pregnant, but this is the worst it has ever been! I seriously feel like I'm going to snap.

And to top it all off... the Cardinals won the World Series tonight. What the fuck, Tigers? That shit just pisses me off.

Jeremy and I went to my 38 week appointment at the OB doctor today. NOTHING is happening. Not a damn thing. He said that she is really low and that once things do start to happen it should go quickly, but that doesn't help me NOW. He said he doesn't see me having this baby anytime in the next week so they'll probably see me at my appointment next Thursday. That didn't make me happy AT ALL. He even suggested that we try "natural induction methods" at home. Not that we haven't done that already, but apparently we need to even more. Hey... we have to follow the doctors orders, right? *grin*

I've had a decent night's sleep two night in a row. I was beginning to get excited about it. Oh, well... night number three and I slept from 11pm to 1am. It's now 1:47am and I am still up. I'm not even tired enough to lay back down and try to fall back asleep. Besides, I have so much pressure "down there" that I feel like the baby is going to come out of my rear-end. I know, nothing that anyone wants to hear about, but it's the truth. I guess I will go see what's on television at this time of the morning.

*update @ 2:13am: There isn't a damn thing worth watching on any of the five hundred channels I have.

Evan's school is celebrating Halloween this Friday. A letter was sent home yesterday stating all of the rules regarding costumes, one of which is absolutely ridiculous. It has to fit OVER his school clothes. What? There's no way that's going to happen. He wants to be a dead doctor. My mom bought him a pair of scrubs two months ago at a street fair and there is no way to get them OVER his clothing. Do you ever see hospital personnel wearing scrubs over their jeans and long-sleeved shirts? No.

So, what now? He can't participate? Or I have to run out and purchase a new costume before Friday?

I think I slept for two hours last night. I'm a wreck. There are only two weeks left until my due date, but with my luck the baby will decide to stay put for an extra week or so. If she's anything like my sister (who is also a Scorpio), "early" is not in her vocabulary. I don't think I'm going to make it.

Well, the Detroit Tigers tied up the series in game two. Kenny Rogers threw a beautiful 8 innings bringing his scoreless streak to 23 innings. Todd Jones (who I normally adore) almost screwed us in the 9th, but we made it out with a 3 - 1 victory!

Well, my lazy day turned into a cleaning frenzy. I actually showered, put clean pj's on, did all the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, the living room, our bedroom, one of the four bathrooms and all of the floors. Where did that come from? You'd think I would be tired now, but I'm not. I just have nothing left to do.

I have done absolutely nothing today. I didn't sleep well last night, but what's new, right? I went back to bed this morning and didn't get up until noon. It's now 2:15pm and I am still in my sweats and a hoodie. Nice. It's a typical fall day outside - cold, rainy, leaves all over the ground. The perfect day for doing nothing, I suppose. So why do I feel so guilty for just sitting here?

The Detroit Tigers lost game one of the World Series. And boy, did they lose good. Who's going to win the series? Not us if we keep playing like that. Let's hope for a better game tonight, boys!

Ok, so I have talked about the pregnancy message board that I have been on since April plenty of times. I know many people probably think it's silly and all, but I have made a lot of online friends there. One of those friends being my "labor buddy." We were all paired with someone who was due at least two weeks earlier/later so that when one of us went into labor we could post it on the board and when the baby came we could post that the baby is here and what the stats are, etc..

Well, my labor buddies husband called me yesterday and left me a voice mail stating that she was in labor and he would update me whenever possible. She was due two weeks after me so that would make her 35 weeks pregnant. Not an ideal time to go into labor, but there have been quite a few ladies on the board who have delivered earlier and everything turned out just fine.

Well, I got another call from her husband this afternoon. He left another message, but this time it just said to call him back. I called him and he said the baby didn't make it. They don't know why. Tests are going to be run. He lived for 2 hours and then passed away. I can't even imagine what they are going through. He was crying on the phone and I was crying. I didn't know what to say other than how sorry I am. I wish there was something I could do. I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to Gabrielle. I am just so sad.

What's going on with blogrolling? It's showing every person on my blogroll has updated their site. I really don't think that's the case.

I am officially on maternity leave. I really don't want to go back to the company I work for, but now that medical documentation has been faxed over and I am considered "on leave" I will have the option to go back if I choose to. I really want to find a job close to home though once the baby arrives. Well, a few months after the baby arrives anyway. I am hoping to make it until February before having to go back to the working world.

I have spent the last six months on a certain pregancy message board. Reading, posting, debating, learning, getting to know people. I have become dependent on that site and it has been down for two freaking days now! This has happened before. At least once a month they do something that takes the message board down - upgrading server, site maintenance, blah, blah, blah. It drives me crazy. Sure, I could find another message board to keep me occupied in the meantime, but it wouldn't be the same. I know these people. Well, not really, but at least I feel like I do. It better be working tomorrow, damn it.

I changed my default skin back. I don't know why, exactly. Little things, I suppose. My desktop on my sidebar wasn't working on the pink skin and I couldn't get it fixed. Plus, I don't know.. I liked the pink skin, but I missed this one more.

I love October. I had forgotten how much until I remembered that stores only sell Franken Berry and Boo Berry cereal during the Halloween season.

Mmmm.. good stuff.

I'm beginning to dread night time like the characters in Nightmare On Elm Street. I know I'm not going to sleep and it is really starting to bother me. I even took a Benadryl a little while ago (my doctor said it's perfectly safe) to help me fall asleep and it's NOT working one bit. I feel bad for Jeremy because I am in and out of bed all night long. Do you know what's really going to suck about tonight? The message board, where I talk to all the other pregnant women that are due in November, is down. What the heck am I supposed to do with my time now?

Jeremy and I made the decision that I am starting my "leave" from work now. That, of course, made me very happy. I was only going to be there until the end of next week anyway so it's not really a big deal. I am going to send in paperwork and have my doctor fax something over stating that I am starting my leave of absence now (even though I'm not going back).

Hopefully my doctor's office will do it. They aren't exactly the most cooperative people over there. There was a girl in our childbirth education class that goes to the same doctor. She told them she wanted to go on leave two weeks early and wanted a note from them and they wouldn't give it to her. I don't understand why they are such pains in the butt. They, for some reason, do not like giving out notes when it's work related. It doesn't make sense to me. So, I'll give it a try, but regardless... I'm done.

I don't want to go to work anymore. I had all last week off and told myself that I would be ready to go back for two more weeks once this week rolled around. I was wrong. I'm too tired. I'm too pregnant. I'm too uncomfortable. I'm in too much pain. I can't sleep at night. I hate the thought of being that far away and going into labor. I hate the thought of going to work.. period. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I cannot sleep tonight! I went to bed at eleven and after tossing and turning for a while I fell asleep. Then I woke up at twelve-thirty for... I don't even know what reason. I made a trip to the bathroom and now can't fall back to sleep. And to top it all off, I have heartburn from hell! I'm so miserable.

*update* I've been asleep and have woken up twice since. It's 3:15 in the morning! What the heck is my problem tonight? I just want to get some sleep.

Woo Hoo!!! The Detroit Tigers are going to the World Series! How awesome is that? If I wasn't pregnant I'd have the blender out right now making Strawberry Margaritas.

Goooooooo Tigers!!!!!

Evan brought home his first progress report of the year and it was FANTASTIC!! Jeremy and I are so happy. There wasn't one bad thing about it. His teacher said he is very focused and motivated and all of his work has been really good. Finally! It's only taken us 3 years to get to this point. We have all been praising him up and down for the last 24 hours. I want him to know how good it feels to succeed. I took him to the video store after school today and let him rent two games he's been wanting.

In other news... we went to my doctor's appointment on Wednesday and she said I am 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated and the baby is extremely low. Now, of course, I was happy to hear this because I am so ready to have this baby, but I also think it made me so anxious for things to start happening that I am having periods of "the blues" because not much is. I know it's only been two days since hearing the news, but I am growing extremely impatient! There are only 26 days left until my due date, but that still seems far too long to wait. I'm ready NOW.

The Tigers have won the first two games of the ALCS in Oakland. They come back home tomorrow for game three. Go Tigers!

Here is my desktop for the Halloween season.

I have the intestinal flu. Blah. I thought something else was wrong because I was feeling horrible all weekend so I had Jeremy take me to the hospital to get checked out last night, but nope... the freaking flu. I'm not even sure I feel up to going to our childbirth class tonight - which really sucks because it's the tour of the maternity floor and I was so looking forward to it.

Anyway.. I just ran across this and it made me smile so I thought I would share.

What does it mean to sleep anymore? Apparently, not a thing. I have had the worst night. I know that I've said that a lot lately, but it's getting worse. I had the hardest time falling asleep. I think I finally passed out around 12:45 am, after nearly two hours of trying to get comfortable, then woke up at 4:30 am. I haven't been able to go back to sleep since. At 5:30 am I decided I might as well make some coffee and call it the beginning of my day. I'm quite certain I will need a nap at some point this afternoon.

I'll be much happier when the reason for waking up in the middle of the night is because Gabrielle is hungry, not because rolling my fat, pregnant arse over in bed is such a chore or because I have to use the bathroom seventeen times a night.

Are we there yet?

I am so geeked!! The Detroit Tigers just defeated the New York Yankees in the first round of the playoffs. WooHoo!! Go Tigers!!

How much do I love my husband? A whole helluva lot! Grey's Anatomy is on right now and I am not watching it because I am waiting until tomorrow evening to watch it with him. Now that's love. *grin*

It's getting more difficult to make it to work each day. I took yesterday off because I was up most of Tuesday night sick to my stomach. I spent most of yesterday on the couch. I would do anything to be able to stay home until the baby gets here, but that is pretty much impossible.

In other news.. Jeremy got his promotion at work and starts working at the local store on Sunday. Yay! No more driving 70 miles round trip for him. I'm so proud of my husband.

I know I have mentioned this a thousand times before, but I really hate my late night at work. I might not complain so much about my job if I didn't have to deal with my late night every week. No, that's probably not true. I am so burned out there's nothing left to do except complain about that place. Well, the good news is that I only have four late nights left (including today) before I leave.

My last name has been changed on my social security card and my drivers license. It sucks that I had to get my license picture taken at 8 months pregnant, but.. oh, well. I'm just so happy that it's all taken care of and now everything has Jeremy's last name on it.

I was talking to my sister about pregnancy yesterday and told her that I was uncomfortable, but not too bad. Boy, did I ever speak to soon. I had the worst night last night. I was up all night either going to the bathroom, dealing with horrible heartburn or completely sick to my stomach. I'm so glad I only have to work three hours this morning.

It's nearly three o'clock in the afternoon and me and Evan are still in our pajamas. It's been a serious day of rest around this house today. Jeremy, Evan and I went to church yesterday so I had absolutely no obligations today. I really needed a day like this. In fact, I napped for about 2 hours this afternoon. I was planning on getting some things done around the house today, but lounging was much more appealing.

Jeremy just called me from work to say that his schedule has been changed and he now has tomorrow off. That makes me VERY happy. It means that he won't miss our childbirth education class tomorrow evening. I am going to flex out of work at 11:30 and we will get to spend the day together. We are going to stop at the Secretary of State and Social Security office to get my last name changed legally - now that we have the filed copy of our marriage license.

I was watching a documentary on television last night called "in the womb." They talked about all sorts of things that happen to a fetus between conception and birth and showed 4D ultrasounds in real time and computer generated fetoscopy. It was wild to see it and I actually learned a thing or two that I didn't know before.

Anyway.. "full term" is anywhere from 38 to 42 weeks - even though pregnancy is 40 weeks - because the baby can come anywhere from two weeks early to two weeks late (although my doctor induces after a week). So I realized that I could possibly go into labor in as early as 3 weeks! When did it get to be so soon? Then I woke up and noticed that today is October 1st which means that this is my last month of working until the baby is several months old. It's so strange how pregnancy can seem to take so long, but then the end sneaks up on you out of no where.

I'm packing my bag for the hospital today. Well, sort of. I'm going to throw a few things in there each week. I was going to wait a couple of weeks to start doing that, but apparently I am running out of time.