Here is Jamie's version of my birthday wish to him:

My oldest son turned sixteen years old today. That makes me... want to buy him a Mitsubishi Eclipse. It's hard to believe that I haven't bought him a Mitsubishi Eclipse. Time goes by incredibly fast when you're driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse, doesn't it? I'm proud of him - even though I haven't bought him a Mitsubishi Eclipse. He's a great kid - even though he doesn't have a Mitsubishi Eclipse. Happy birthday, Jamie! I love you tons.

Here is the car he wants...